Monday, November 29, 2004

Holiday spirit

If Jessica Simpson isn't yet using sunglasses and floppy hats when she goes out in public, a quick whiff of popular sentiment tells me she soon will be. My son recently pointed out to me the existence of a J.S. Christmas CD, using much the same tone as if he'd been pointing out a dead bird stuck to the grill of my car—in other words, as if taking notice of a possible sign of the coming End-of-the-World-Fest-Two-Thousand-Something.

And now, in a startling convergence of great minds, net diva Mary Forrest makes a related observation:
Lastly, this ad for Jessica Simpson's Christmas album makes me want to puke. Right into Jessica Simpson's giant singing mouth. That ought to shut her up. People who tell me she is pretty have not yet realized that she is a female version of Richard Marx. And people who tell me she's talented are looking to have their faces punched.
Now, just in case you're thinking that this sort of thing is not in keeping with the holiday spirit, I should point out that the holiday season has undergone mission drift in recent years. Once it was a time of year when people were encouraged to be especially nice to each other, up to and beyond the point of actually forgiving people if the situation warrants.

But no longer. The holidays have become a time where people are encouraged to act as selfishly and irritatingly as they like. Anyone else who isn't eager to indulge and forgive them can then be accused of violating the spirit of the holidays. Even better, anyone who calls attention to this principle in action is just a big old poopyhead.


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