Well, there's your problem ...

What made the Hottentots so hot? What puts the ape in apricot? What do they got that I ain't got?



I believe I have a clue on that last one.



Blogs, naturally, are loaded with opinions. One thing you can't accuse bloggers of is not having the courage of their convictions. You can tell they have strong beliefs by the way they express them—loud, long, and repeatedly. They love their opinions, and they're willing to defend them against all comers.



All except me, that is.



The long-suspended realization finally struck me. While those guys like their opinions, I pretty much hate my own. Take these few examples:

• God probably isn't real. This is the one I'm the most bitter about. Although the supreme being that most people seem to believe in is by all appearances a deranged twit, it would be a comfort to know that somebody was pulling all the strings—if only so we could then hunt down that somebody and beat him until he's a stain on the ground. I actually envy people who can find peace in the form of religious belief. My brain just refuses to jump through those hoops.

• The planet is not being visited by space aliens. Nobody would be more tickled than I would if this were really the case. It's such a fascinating prospect that plenty of people do believe it, in spite of a total lack of evidence. Again, I wish it were true.

• Football is not entertaining; likewise most professional team sports. Just think how easily I could entertain myself if I could become a sports fan. Television in particular caters to fans, but there are also plenty of sports-themed movies, books, magazines, and video games around. I would never lack for sources of amusement. Another opinion that harms nobody but myself.

It isn't that I have no opinions at all, or that I only half-heartedly believe them. I'm just not that crazy about them. Give me a good reason and I would drop any of them in an instant. That's my trouble. I need a good reason.