Halloween is coming, and I'm seriously jonesin' for a good horror movie. All I have to look forward to so far is Red Dragon, which people seem to think (David Spade-style) was better the last time around, when it was called Manhunter. I haven't heard anybody yet say that it was even better than its first incarnation, as a book by Thomas Harris. And I read the book already. So without the movie to look forward to, I'm left without a Halloweeny movie fix. Am I going to be reduced to watching kid-friendly monster movies on the Disney Channel, or classic horror on Turner Classic Movies (which I completely love, I admit)? The local video stores, sorry to say, are no help in this matter.

Halloween is a serious issue for me. In the U.S. we have holidays celebrating all the aspects of American life that we love so well. New Year's Day is for drunkenness. Valentine's Day is the sex holiday -- not that this is a bad thing, and I'm glad to see that Hallmark has loosened up considerably in this regard. April Fool's Day: stupidity. Memorial Day: cannon fodder. Independence Day: recent events have shifted this holiday into a category by itself -- catatonic patriotism. Labor Day: avoidance of labor. Columbus Day: poking around where you're not wanted. Thanksgiving: eating! And Christmas: the day of solemn religious observance and blatant materialism that atones for the rest of the year.

And of course, Halloween, the holiday of morbid curiosity, completes the wide pallette of the American psyche.

So, looks like it's off to the video store tonight.